Wocto Law

Winston Churchill once said, “If you have ten thousand regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.” During his first term in office, President Barack Obama has undoubtedly had to grapple, with the nuanced implications of law. How about a little help from a group of intrepid elementary school students to whom I posed this question, If you were president, what laws would you make? Here’s what they had to say:

Christian S., Age 7, Future Policeman

For me, I’d cut inflation. I’d lower the price of milk, cheese, rocky road ice-cream, celery, lettuce and salad dressing. No shooting animals of any kind. Stop all wars now so nobody would get killed or hurt. It would be the law. I’d burn the weapons that we could burn and the metal weapons like tanks and airplanes and bombs, I’d take them apart. It’s a big job. It would help the economy. I’d hire a lot of people and put them back to work helping me. If I had the money I’d pay them a hundred dollars a month. Kids would be allowed to play outside more unless it was raining.

Kristine S., Age 7, Future Nurse

All cars must be off the freeway by 2:30 AM to cut down on noise and pollution—that goes for out-of-towners too. Groups of volunteers would gather at this time to sweep the freeways. Cities would have to install street walls, one side for cars and the other side for people. It would be safer for both. There would have to be alarms everywhere, night and day, underground, under streets. They would only be sensitive to burglars and not to regular people. I think it could work. Burglars are always heavier because they’re carrying stolen things on their backs. Sick kids and people would have to stay home and not go out to school and work and breathe on other people.

Becky S, Age 8, Future Waitress

It would be against the law for kids to steal anything—candy, soda or bread. Right now only adults really get into trouble but bad kids don’t. Grownups would be allowed to help kids when they were hurt, without suspicion. I was riding my bike uphill trying to hold two ice-cream cones and three bottles of Coke. I fell down and broke my collarbone, and a total stranger helped me. Smoking would be illegal ‘cause it kills people. No fights of any kind would be permitted. No party poopers—you know, like you’re having a party and someone comes along and says, ‘Ooh, your party is stinky,’ or, ‘Your friends are ugly.’ It starts arguments.

Michael R. Age 7-1/2, Future President

All policemen will have to be real tall. I think if they were taller they’d be waling the streets protecting people instead of just driving around in their cars. Kids who didn’t obey the street-crossing patrols would be put on probation if they got reported twelve times. Then they’d have to have their parents walk them across the street. My mom’s very nice—put that down—but I’d make a law that all kids would have their own phones, so if parents were mean they could run into their room, call the police, the police would come , surround the house, put the parents in jail, and the child could go to a foster home and be treated better. I had a friend whose mother was very mean. He moved away and I worry about what happened to him.

Becky E., Age 6-1/2, Future Gymnastics Teacher

People would be allowed to live in parks. You could wake up in the morning and you’d already be there to play or do whatever you wanted to do. If anyone is caught writing on picnic tables, walls and doors, they would have to clean it up before they could go home. I wouldn’t put them in jail or anything, because it might be your friends who are doing it. If you needed a job, you’d just go to the job you wanted and if you like the take home price they’d have to hire you that day. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to call you back because you know they never will.