Okay. This is no laughing matter. Stay home. Shelter in place.
Flatten the curve. Don’t put your next-door-neighbor, your grandma, your significant other, or the sexy young man in your neighborhood that you shared an Uber with, in jeopardy. Don’t put yourself at risk. Why would you do that?
Do you really need a Wonka Bar at 2am on a Sunday night??
Do you really need to [wink wink] elbow-greet your fellow compadres riding
their bikes on the boardwalk en masse? Do you really need goat cheese crumbles from Trader Joes today, when you were just there yesterday buying eggs?? This is life and death. NOT COOL!! What about the seriousness of the moment do you not get?? I know, this can’t really be happening. But believe me, it’s not only poor you, it’s poor US! We’re all in this together!! Join an online group; make protective masks for your local medical professionals; call your ancient aunt that you haven’t talked to in forever, and ask about her life; pour yourself a Dewers, straight up; smoke whatever is legal in your state. You can do this!
There are people out there—the grocery clerks, the National Guard, the doctors and nurses, the neighborhood mom who is taking in other children so parents can continue to deliver stuff to you from Amazon, and other online retailers as well, putting their lives on the line for us—for you, 24/7.
The year my father was born—1918, there was a pandemic. The Spanish Flu. My grandmother was pregnant and living in Chicago which was hard hit. Everyday, the horse and cart would clip-clop up her street and stop in front of every house marked with red tape on the door to pick up bodies. No joke! My grandmother’s little row home was one of the few houses spared. She delivered her beautiful baby boy—my father, that May! And here I am, over 100 years later to tell the tale.
What was true back then that saved lives, still holds true now. Truly keep your social distance. Wash your hands as soon as you get home from wherever. Better yet, STAY HOME. If you have symptoms, see if you can get tested. Interpretation and isolation of people in viral clusters of tested populations, as well as extreme social distancing has helped in countries already hard hit.
It crossed my mind that we could amuse one another by posting on social media, our own methods of coping. You know, singing songs from the Pirates
of Penzance, dancing along to Lil Nas X, joining a neighborhood ZOOM book club. Extreme times call for extreme measures and a little creativity. In the words of the Red Red Robin, and in honor of Spring: “Live, Love, Laugh and be Happy!”
As I sit at home, self-quarantined, I await the results of a friend’s
Covid-19 test, after he visited and his little cold exploded into something
worse a few days later. Meanwhile, I hope this sore throat is nothing. I can’t help but wonder, how and what are you all doing tonight?