Of Guns and Banana Peels

Of Guns and Banana Peels

If not now, when? Yes, we are in a collective state of mourning for this latest hunting of young children. Now is absolutely the right time to set politics aside and ask why the average citizen needs to own semi-automatic weapons and mega-clips in our complex society?
At all??

I heard this as part of the argument today,  ”Banana Peels Kill People,” the argument presumably being that people inadvertently slip on banana peels and are injured or die as a result. But we don’t legislate bananas.

However, we have legislated: cigarettes, drinking and driving,
airbags, motorcycle helmets, seatbelts, baby crib slats,
lead in toys and candy, drugs, standards of municipal
drinking water, etc., all to the chagrin of those fearful of losing another right or fun thing to the collective well-being of a free society. (The disgruntled players are not as vocal, powerful, savvy nor do they possess the financial and political firing power of the NRA) Besides, if you really want to knock yourself out, you can still enjoy tobacco in the privacy of your own home–don’t say we didn’t warn you…

The NRA arguments against semi-automatic gun bans are holding hostage, the will of the majority of Americans. I am a second amendment supporter, for the record, so was our Supreme Court in 2008, but they left “reasonable regulations” on the table.

If banana peels were smoked, if they killed thousands of US citizens a year, we would insist on training, licensing, insurance, warning labels and probably a doctor’s note to possess them. If banana peels were weapons of mass destruction we would send in Seal Team Six to take out their source. The more that people have bananas,
the more people are going to slip on banana peels. (simple math)

If the collective recent mass murderers (or even your average everyday urban thug variety murderer) chose a banana peel as weapon of choice we would not have the dreadful gun-related statistics in this country we accumulate every day, although we might face the wrath of Dole.

Wait a minute, let me grab my rocket launcher, someone’s ringing my doorbell. Oh, I take that back, I don’t own a rocket launcher or my own drone. Darn you Supreme Court!!   Let me keep my bananas and my musket, but please get these semi-automatic weapons and their high-velocity clips out of our houses and off our streets. Their only purpose is to kill, and that is a sport we can no longer afford as a sane society.

This entry was posted in Children's Literature and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>